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Trump v. Clinton v. Beer

Today we fret. LoCO is throwing an Election Funeral. Come fret with us. 

Yes, the 2016 United States Presidential Election Reality Show is set to culminate with it’s season finale on Nov. 8. To commemorate, your Lost Coast Outpost and Richards’ Goat Tavern are teaming up to celebrate with y’all at a red, white and/or blue event featuring multiple screens of THE MEDIA’s election night coverage, a big ol’ map on the wall that we’ll color in and eventually rip to shreds, ‘Merica-themed prizes, maybe some surprises, alcohol and sobbing. Whee!

This is an early show. The first polls close on the East Coast at 4 p.m. West Coast (best time) time, so if you want to know how badly Florida has decided to ruin our country you’ll want to blow off work early. Oh, there is limited seating too.

America is dead! Long live America! --AG

EVENTS (SUBMIT YOURS!)

LoCO’s 2016 Presidential Election Funeral

The Miniplex at Richards' Goat Tavern / 4 p.m. / Free

Democracy OVER. Let’s drink on a Tuesday and bury this whole horrific election deep in the ground.

630-5000 / Web site

2016 Election Night Coverage

Arcata Theatre Lounge / 5-10 p.m.

Come and join us as we witness the historic 2016 election. Admission: Free w/ $5 minimum purchase of any food/beverage item.

613-3030 / Web site

Nikolai Gogol's 2016 Election Bonanza and End-Times Hullabaloo

Arcata Playhouse / 6-10 p.m.

Come celebrate the end of the longest campaign season ever with beer, live election results, and original sketch comedy inspired by Nikolai Gogol's "The Nose" and the last 16 months. Admit it: you're going to be watching CNN anyway; come usher in the Book of Revelations among friends.

822-1575 / Web site

Joke the Vote

The Jam / 9-11:30 p.m. / $5 / 21+

"Comedians riffing on election coverage and debating each other on a wide variety of topics. Come laugh with relief or laugh with impending doom. Just laugh."

822-5266 / Web site

Kaptain Kirk

Mad River Brewery Tasting Room / 6-8:30 a.m.

Yep. Come celebrate or wallow in misery on Election Day with the Kaptain. Either way, you can't lose with beer and music under the big top!

668-4151 / Web site

Old Town Farmers' Market

Old Town Eureka / 9 a.m.-2 p.m.

Celebrate the bounty of fresh and local Humboldt grown produce and GMO-free foods.

Web site

Arcata Recreation's Youth Basketball League Registration

Arcata City Hall / 9 a.m.-5 p.m. / $65 / $75 non-residents

822-7091 / rec@cityofarcata.org / Web site

Ping Pong

Logger Bar / noon / 21+

Sometimes The Logger Bar sets up ping pong tables. This is one of those times. Get your Gump on.

668-5000 / Web site

GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays

Faith Center Foursquare Church / noon-2 p.m. / Free / $5 Surviving the Holidays Devotional

The holiday season is fast approaching and, if you have lost a loved one, you are likely experiencing a jumble of emotions that you have yet to sort out.

442-1784 / sjones@eurekafaithcenter.org / Web site

Eel River Akasha Collaboration Release / Election Viewing

The Local Cider Bar / 4-10 p.m. / 21+

"Yup, that's right... The Local will have TV(s) for the second time in almost 5 years."

497-6320 / theloclabeerbar@gmail.com / Web site

Game Night

Crush / 5 p.m.

Don't be bored. Play board games.

Zumba

D Street Neighborhood Center / 5:30-6:30 p.m. / $7 / $50 10 class-pass / 18+

Instructor Chris Halcomb offers classes.

822-7091 / rec@cityofarcata.org / Web site

Paco Martin

Benbow Inn / 6-9 p.m.

South American music.

923-2777 / jsells@benbowinn.com / Web site

Humboldt Cribbage Club

Moose Lodge / 6:15 p.m. / $8

Muggins! Get your weekly crib on.

444-3161 /

Buddy Reed

Libation / 7-9 p.m.

Local bluesman gets low down. Accompanied by Andy Fihn.

825-7596 / Web site

Open Mic

Clam Beach Inn / 7-9 p.m.

With Mike Bynum.

839-0545 /

Anna Hamilton

Palm Lounge at The Eureka Inn / 7-11 p.m. / 21+

Songs and stories from HumCo's blues riff-slingin' raconteur.

The Opera Alley Cats

SpeakEasy / 7:30-10:30 p.m. / Free / 21+

Burning live jazz under the "stars."

444-2244 / Web site

Karaoke w/ Chris Clay

Cher-Ae Heights Casino / 8 p.m.

Your Lowdown will go on the record as saying that Chris Clay is Humboldt's most pro karaoke jockey. We know this stuff.

800-684-2464 / Web site

Taco Tuesday! w/ DJ Pachanguero

The Miniplex at Richards' Goat Tavern / 9 p.m. / Free / 21+

Yay!

630-5000 / Web site

Savage Henry's Comedy Open Mic

The Jam / 9 p.m. / $3 / 21+

An evening of hilarity from local comics and newbies, and maybe even you!

822-5266 / joe@savagehenrymagazine.com / Web site

Open Mikey Comedy

Palm Lounge at The Eureka Inn / 9:30-11:30 p.m. / Free / 21+

Strong launguage will be used, adult situations will be mocked.

Web site

!Bomba Sonido!

Toby and Jacks / 10 p.m. / 21+

DJ Gabe Pressure and Zero Juan take you on a musical trip. Carribean Club, Cumbia, Reggaeton, Dembow, Latin House, Dancehall, Latin bass music, remixes y mas.

MOVIES

Broadway Cinema
Mill Creek Cinema