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Who Will Be the First Ever Mr. Humboldt?

(There can be only one.)

Lowdown readers are pretty plugged in. Thus, you've probably heard more than enough about the Mr. Humboldt Pageant at this point -- click here if this is the first you're hearing about this.

Briefly, this packed Humboldt Saturday will be highlighted by the crowning of the first ever Mr. Humboldt at a sold out event at the Arcata Theatre Lounge. Fifteen (or so) contestants will compete in 1) question and answer 2) swimwear 3) talent and 4) formal wear segments blah, blah, blah ... we don't need to sell you on it. It's sold out. But there is one pertinent update to report: Those who missed out on tickets please note that they will be live streaming this thing at this link. 'Cuz technology is sooo Humboldt.

Now, let's just meet the standup dudes willing to forgo dignity for a good cause (but mostly glory):

Contestant #1:
Mr. Hunkah Hulkah Man Candy
(Micheal Le)
"... sincere, intelligent and majestic..."



Contestant #2: 
Mr. Rabbit Ranger 
(David Allan James MacCuish)
"...a community-oriented man with many, many rad shirts and hats."



Contestant #3: 
Mr. Phlegm 
(Ray Oakes)
"Ray calls himself "Mr. Phlegm" because back in 1973, "El Lay coughed me up like a glob of phlegm and this is where I stuck..." SoHum REPRESENT!"



Contestant #4: 
Mr. Short Shorts 
(Evan Von Werlhof)
"... a man with mad love for the wondrous nature that Humboldt has to offer."



Contestant #5: 
Mr. Gimp 
(Bryant Kellison)
"... the dreamy, the hilarious, the super-talented musician and comedianian..."



Contestant #6: 
Captain Awesome 
(Eric Hall)
"... enchanting and sensitive, captivating and charming ..."



Contestant #7: 
The Moldy Flat Puppeteer 
(Turner Grant Bazen)
"... the most Ferndale we could find ..."



Contestant #8: 
Mr. Red Wood 
(Dylan Ruiz)
"Don't you just love big, hard wood first thing in the morning?"



Contestant #9: 
Mr. Bicycle Pimp 
(James Seiberlich)
"... a wild animal whose natural habitat is SoHum ..." 



Contestant #10: 
Mr. H. Ipster Pibr VII 
(David Bethuy)
"... a man that's "9 inches" long in Humboldt County ..."



Contestant #11: 
Mr. Planned Parenthood 
(John R. Kell III)
"... a man that can really handle a speculum ..." 



Contestant #12: 
Mr. LatinLover 
(John McClurg)
"...the super-lover from south of the border ..."



Contestant #13: 
Mr. Music Man 
(Burly Dent)
"... omni-talented lead guitarist and vocalist of "TheHiLL" and all-around good guy about town ..."



Contestant #14: 
Mr. Man Next Door 
(Kashta Coulter)
"... oh, that smile. Oh, those arms ..."



Contestant #15: 
Mr. The Worst 
(Thomas Warinner)
"... the skeeziest, dirtiest, filthiest, slimiest, terrible-est man in Humboldt County ..."

-Andrew Goff

EVENTS

Burlesque Expo and Showcase

Blue Lake Casino and Hotel / 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

668-9770 / Web site

Humboldt Unbound

Van Duzer Theater / 7:30-9 p.m. / $10 / Free limited free seating for HSU students / $8 students & seniors / 18+

Who in the world was Alexander von Humboldt—explorer, visionary and godfather of ecology? Explore the wonder of his voyages to the outer and inner unknown in this HSU original production featuring music, dance and spectacle.

826-3928 / Web site

HFS Barn Dance

Arcata Veterans Memorial Building / 7:30-11 p.m. / $7 / Free kids 12 and under / $6 members, students and seniors

"Grab your dancin' shoes as Striped Pig Stringband plays a barn dance with dynamic caller Charmaine Slaven. The dance benefits the Mad River Alliance and as always all dances will be taught with no partner or experience needed."

269-2061 / emily.sinkhorn@gmail.com / Web site

Too Short

Arcata Community Center / 8 p.m. / $30

Big Daddy Promotions presents the Bay Area hip hop icon, with guests D-Lo and Green R Fieldz.

Far East

Redwood Curtain Theatre / 8 p.m. / $15 / $10 Thursdays

"Deliciously wry and poignant play centers on three US Navy personnel, and one Navy wife, stationed at a base in Japan in the mid 1950’s – a little bit Kabuki, a little bit From Here to Eternity."

Mr. Humboldt Pageant

Arcata Theatre Lounge / 8 p.m. / $25 / $20 adv. / 18+

Competitive, all-male spoof pageant features Q&A, beachwear (speedos encouraged), popularity, talent and formal wear segments. Proceeds to benefit the Women’s Crisis Shelter in Southern Humboldt (WISH), the Humboldt Literacy Project and Big Brothers Big Sisters of the North Coast.

822-1220 / Web site

The Meat Puppets

Humboldt Brews / 9:30 p.m. / $17 / 21+

"For over 30 years, legendary desert punks the Meat Puppets have carved a unique niche for themselves with an unmistakable blend of cosmic country and punk rock filtered through countless acid trips, dog-eared comic books and their eclectic record collections."

826-2739 / Web site

eBird Survey

Redwood Region Audubon Society / 8 a.m.

Angelina After Dark

Angelina Inn / 9-2 a.m. / Free / 18+

Local and guest DJs.

725-5200 / Web site

HCNC Trails Stewards Work Day

Friends of the Dunes / 9 a.m.-noon

Combined Trail Stewards training and work party.

Arcata Farmers' Market

Arcata Plaza / 9 a.m.-2 p.m.

Local produce, meats flowers and more. Music at 10 a.m. (Click for music schedule.)

Web site

Manila Dunes Restoration

Manila Community Center / 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Join Friends of the Dunes for coastal dune restoration at the Manila Dunes. Gloves, tools, and cookies will be provided.

Community Media Center Orientation

Access Humboldt Community Media Center / 10 a.m.-noon / Free

476-1798 / info@accesshumboldt.net / Web site

Sustainable Living Fair

Jefferson Community Center / 10 a.m.-4 p.m. / Free

Learn new skills that help grow a sustainable future, like worm farming, aquaponics, composting, brewing, canning and the like.

407-9093 / fishman9093@gmail.com / Web site

Ferndale Farmers' Market

Main Street, Ferndale / 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

On the corner of Shaw and Main streets. Sustainable farms sell local produce direct to the consumer.

Web site

Holiday Shopping Spectacular

Campbell Creek Connexion / 10 a.m.-4 p.m. / Free

Local products, good treats and lots of fun! Event is helping send a group to Trinidad and Tobago to help with construction projects.

826-1000 / rach2321@hotmail.com / Web site

Sustainable Living Fair

Jefferson Community Center / 10 a.m.-4 p.m. / Free

Learn skills to create self-sufficient lifestyles and resilient communities.

267-0924 /

Headwaters Recreation Public Meeting

Headwaters Forest Reserve / 11 a.m.-1 p.m. / Free

Join the BLM and HSU to take a look at a recently completed visitor survey conducted at Headwaters in the summer of 2012. Participants can help the BLM interpret the results of the survey and identify any improvements that could be made to the BLM's management of this popular recreation area.

825-2300 / headwaters@blm.gov / Web site

Basic Studio Certification

Access Humboldt Community Media Center / 1-5 p.m. / $40

476-1798 / info@accesshumboldt.net / Web site

Lumberjacks vs. Western Oregon

Redwood Bowl / 1 p.m. / $10 / Free HSU students

It's football!

Art of Giving

Humboldt Unitarian Universalist Fellowship / 1-5 p.m.

Original mixed media paintings by Rebecca Stauffer.

Breathe For Blu

Main Street Art Gallery / 1 p.m. / Free

502-7000 / avw38@humboldt.edu / Web site

Native Plant Walk

Manila Community Center / 1-3 p.m.

Join a Friends of the Dunes naturalist.

MRC Annual Meeting

Mattole Camp and Retreat Center / 3-9 p.m. / Free / $10 Dinner

Celebrate 30 years of watershed restoration with the Mattole Restoration Council. Dinner, local beer and wine and auction.

629-3514 / mrc@mattole.org / Web site

Blarney and Beer

Arcata Playhouse / 7-9:30 p.m. / $10 / 18+

Paul Woodland presents an evening of folk tales from the Emerald Isle. Part of Tellabration 2013. Also features the macabre Carpathian, the talented troubadour Seabury Gould, and the flying feet of the Irish Dancers from the Studio of Dance Arts.

441-9424 / plw3@humboldt.edu / Web site

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Eureka High School Auditorium / 7:30-10 p.m. / $8 / $5 students

Shakespeare's most popular comedy, portrays the adventures of four young lovers and a group of amateur actors, their interactions with woodland fairies and a duke and duchess.

441-1735 / vossn@eurekacityschools.org / Web site

HSU Jazz Combos

Fulkerson Recital Hall / 8 p.m. / $8 / Free HSU students / $5 seniors, children

Two different sets of HSU Jazz Combos perform. Classic jazz and originals are featured.

826-3928 / Web site

You're a Good Man Charlie Brown

North Coast Repertory Theatre / 8 p.m. / $18

Based on the Comic Strip "Peanuts" by Charles M. Schulz.

442-6278 / Web site

Buddy Reed

SpeakEasy / 9 p.m. / 21+

Low down blues.

444-2244 / Web site

Karaoke w/ Chris Clay

RJ Grin's Lounge / 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m. / Free / 21+

445-0844 / cleo.nice@redlion.com /

Pressure/Anya DJs

Pearl Lounge / 9:30 p.m. / 21+

There will be ass shaking.

444-2017 / Web site

DJs

Toby and Jacks / 10 p.m. / 21+

More Plaza ass shaking.

DJs

Sidelines / 10 p.m. / 21+

Plaza ass shaking.

822-0919 /

MOVIES

Broadway Cinema
Mill Creek Cinema
Minor Theatre