[ ADVERTISE WITH US ]

Do Not Steal From Eureka Books

Mike Dronkers / Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2013 @ 1:07 p.m. / Community, Crime


It can't be fun surveying the damage shoplifters wrought on your small business over the course of the year. Or can it? 

Observed during our annual inventory: George RR Martin fans don't steal books. Tolkien-ites, like Bilbo Baggins, are thieves.

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

Michael P - we knew you shoplifted a few days ago. Now we know it was an appropriately titled book: You Are Not So Smart

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 14, 2013

If you're the one who took our Koran and the New Testament in Greek, please read them. There's stuff in there you need to know.

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

Christian Bale is reprising his role as the Dark Knight, if only to kick your ass for stealing all our Batman graphic novels.

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

You know who you are: I'm glad you stole The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven because reading the book is as close as you are going to get.

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

If you're the one stealing Stephen King's Dark Tower series from us, you missed one.

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

Drum roll please: Top 3 stolen authors of 2012: @jrrtolkien, @suzannecollns and--you probably didn't guess it--@thomasmerton!

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 14, 2013
Please return Build This Bong: Instructions and Diagrams for 40 Bongs, Pipes, and Hookahs. After 2 days confirming thefts, we need that info

 

— Eureka Books (@eurekabooks) January 12, 2013

The above is a shining example of how to Tweet. Follow them on Twitter: @EurekaBooks.